Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other?
It is a common thing to find a woman or man accusing their spouse of talking less to them than they used to do before. Most American men take a back seat in conversations when they get back home. This behavior has not found favor among their wives who then feel as if men are hiding something from them. Men and women have different expectations of those they are talking to during conversations. Most women would like their husbands to be easier to talk to and to give them more attention at home. However unlike women, most husbands are comfortable not having to talk to their wives all of the time. The development of children is highly guided by the way child-to-child communication is viewed in their communities. At a young age, boys like playing with only boys. Girls at a young age also interact in the same way.
Different sets of communities have distinct formations of how people are expected to relate. These different communication patterns can be used to explain the complexities in the communication between men and women. For females, intimacy is the foundation of relationships between men and women and conversation is used to build this intimacy. Females use conversations to maintain the friendships that they have with other people. They therefore expect men to be willing and ready to talk to them as one way of showing them that they are still in good terms with each other. On the other hand, males consider doing things together as being more important than just having a conversation with each other. Men also feel as if they are placed under women’s authority when they are made to listen. They therefore usually listen to women while they are talking but they do not maintain eye contact with them. Most of the time, women misinterpret this as unwillingness to listen on the men’s part.
Men also like talking about different topics changing subjects from one topic to the other. Women on the other hand like having a conversation about one topic for a long time before moving to the next. This makes it difficult for men and women to have a long conversation about something since the man will feel the need to shift subjects sooner than the woman will. Unlike men and boys who are dismissive during most conversations, women and girls usually share their problems and sympathize with each other. In addition, during conversation, women make more responses unlike men who most of the times are just quiet. Men also treat responding while listening to someone as lack of patience in hearing what one has to say. They prefer that people keep quiet and give them their time to express themselves. This is unlike women who interpret the same behavior as just enhancing conversation.
Unlike women who want those they are talking to respond in agreement with what they are saying, men expect listeners to give them their understanding of the subject being talked about. Men also hold the view that it is only necessary to talk actively when one needs to defend themselves. Women hold a contrary view to this. For them, conversation is vital at all times no matter the situation. In conclusion, what is needed is an agreement by both men and women to understand the conversational needs of the other. Men have to understand what women dislike during conversations to avoid being misinterpreted.